This frightening phrase was uttered in group today.
“I sometimes feel happy, but then I’m guilty about it, and think I don’t deserve happiness, so I feel even worse than I normally do.”
Just as a public service announcement; everyone deserves happiness. No matter what you’ve done, no one deserves eternal pain.
Just because you have an eating disorder doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to be happy.
If you had cancer, would you question your happiness? Both cancer and an eating disorder were not asked for. No one said “hey! I’d like an order of leukemia or maybe some bulimia on the side!” No, these things just happen, and we may never know why.
Don’t feel guilty for what has happened to you. You couldn’t control it. Ed told you that you were in control, but he was lying. He was in control. It is no ones fault for what you’re going through, especially not your own.
Don’t let anyone ever make you feel guilty for being happy. Happiness is a wonderful thing to feel! In fact, I want you to feel extra good and give yourself a pat on the back when you’re happy. It means you’re progressing and starting to lose the numbness.
Now, I wholeheartedly support happiness, but we can still have our bad days. Like me, today.
God, get ready for a rant, I had a pretty rough day.
So I went to Ontario Works to apply for government support today and found out 2 very important things. #1. My mom has to financially support me while I’m still under her care, it’s her legal obligation.
#2. The money my dad pays for child support should be going directly to me, not to her to spend on herself.
Now guess what my mom thinks. She says that money is hers and I shouldn’t get any of it. Are you kidding me? That’s not right.
So, I’m going to take legal action. I cannot be with this family. It is only hurting me and delaying my recovery.
Anyone who is in an abusive relationship, please, find help and get out of it. You are worth more than what they give you. You deserve respect and to be treated with dignity.
Please, love yourself and don’t give up hope for a brighter future.