(I’m so sorry I haven’t been blogging for a while!! A lot has been going on and later on I’ll be able to talk about it, but for now, I can’t. Also, thighs touch, no shame!!)
Now, this could be for a lot of things. Today it’s about reaching your goal weight.
It truly is a scary thing. You’ve been underweight for so long and it’s the norm for you. You don’t know anything but it. You’re losing your “safe place”. But here’s a shocker, it really wasn’t your safe place.
No, don’t stop reading already and call me a liar. There really is a safer place. It’s acceptance. But you have to work really hard to get to acceptance.
It could be something that you wake up feeling, or it could be something you work towards for months, even years. One thing you have to remember is patience. Time will tell what is to come.
Acceptance is being okay with your body. Or maybe it’s not being okay with your body, but realizing you’re healthy and accepting things are the way they are and it wouldn’t be right to fiddle with your health again.
Now, back to goal weight. No one wants to hear, “you’re at your goal weight”. Some people think of it as a failure, like they weren’t strong enough to keep losing weight. That is a plain lie. You proved you are even stronger and that you have control. You showed yourself that this is your life and no longer will you hurt your body. You are the complete opposite of a failure. You are one of the most successful people that have lived.
Your goal weight isn’t some magic number. Everything fluctuates. You may lose five pounds, you may gain ten. But that is okay, as long as a medical professional is watching your health and advising you with what you eat and what kind of activity you do. As long as you aren’t engaging in negative coping mechanisms, your weight moving around is normal and healthy. It could be because you drank too much or too little, or maybe you haven’t peed yet. Most of your weight is water, so after you go to the bathroom, your body balances out.
Don’t stress about your weight. In fact, I don’t think scales should’ve been created. They’ve only caused pain and suffering for so many people. Your Ed, or Ana, or whatever your eating disorders name is, is the one who is making you think this way. Remember years ago when you coloured at school and got excited on milk day instead of scared? Ed wasn’t talking to you yet. You were enjoying your life and that’s what I hope for all of us. The freedom to love ourselves again.
The hardest thing to do is stop thinking about your weight, but the most important thing is to stop thinking about your weight. It’s just a number. It doesn’t reflect who you are, how you do in school or who your friends are.
The scale is an abusive partner. Stop letting them control your life and break up with them. Think of the scale as the enemy, not the hero. Has it really ever helped you? Probably not. Leave the number and medical decisions to the doctors and dieticians. They’ve studied this and won’t let you become unhealthy.
You’re all beautify like, or handsome, no matter your weight. If someone judges you on how you look, they aren’t worth your time. And yes, that includes Ed and all his judging.
Don’t worry about being a pound or two over your “goal weight”. In fact, stop thinking of it as your goal weight. Consider it the start of your healthy weight RANGE. That’s right, it’s the lowest weight that you can be. Find out what highest healthy weight for you is and aim to be in that range. Even if you’re on the higher end, you’ll still know you’re healthy.
Don’t deprive yourself of food just because you’re at that weight and you think you can’t gain anymore. You’re not going to die or become fat if you gain a little more weight. You probably wouldn’t even know if you broke up with your scale and moved on.
Don’t give up. It seems a little hopeless right now, but it does get a lot easier.
The only number that should matter to you, is the number of your birthday. Because that is a number you have always celebrated. And who doesn’t love presents and a party!!
Stay strong!! Love you all.